Celebrity Parenting Tips, Styles and Tactics: Are they just like us? (Ep. 41)

Justin Sisemore  00:00

Okay, guys, we’re back at you today is celebrity parenting tips, styles and tactics. Are they really just like us? This is In Your Best Interest. I’m Justin Sisemore.  This is Mary Maloney and Andrea Jones. We’re gonna go through some of this Gossip Girl mentality. Put some family law and some practical spins on it. From an entrepreneurial parent, lawyer point of view. So Mary, go ahead and kick us off.

Mary Maloney  00:24

All right. Well, there’s a lot of different celebrities that do some crazy and wacky things, but there are also those that kind of live similar lives to us, like reason. You know, we’ve heard Angela, Angelina and Brad Brangelina. I mean, their divorce, I think finally, just got settled, but one of the biggest issues for them was that they had different parenting styles, and that, allegedly, from what I read in the gossip mags, is kind of what led up to their split. So something you see in real life.

Justin Sisemore  00:54

Well, I’m not going to spend the podcast gossiping on what I know about Brad and Angelina. What I will say is that these different circumstances that you’ve pulled up here, and these different tips, like, I get these questions a lot. So you know, when it comes to what, what I would think on the Brad and Angelina front, like, what, what some of their issues were or are, had so many different, I guess, connotations to it. So it’s not just like parenting style, but it may be where we live, where we go to school. We’ve got, you know, they have a very eclectic and diverse group of kids, boys, girls, different cultures, all that. So and then, you know, both of them are pretty amazing people as far as acting goes, and, you know, all that. And I think that they went through struggles, and some of them they did together, and some of them they chose to go apart. But, but going back to the parenting styles, you know, the question always comes up, like, do we use corporal punishment? Do? What do we do about iPad screen time, those kind of things? So I really want to dive into the specifics of those and not comment on the individuals that I don’t live with. Does that make sense?

Mary Maloney  02:07

That makes sense? Yeah. Well, the next one, and Andrea, you were the one that that reminded me of this one there was that the college admissions scandal that happened back in 2019 and you know, these, these parents were trying to get their kids into schools. And it wasn’t just celebrities. Just celebrities, it was other people too that were paying big bucks to kind of have the rules overlooked so their kids could get into these, these elite schools. So I think, Andrea, I liked your point is like, what kind of example is that setting up for kids when you do stuff?

Andrea Jones  02:37

Yeah, what kind of example are you setting for your kids? I mean, monkey see, monkey do. I can tell them all day long what to do and what not. What not to do, but if I help them to get into a college that they’re based on their intelligence or their athletic ability, don’t belong. What example are you setting for your kids, and what are you setting your kids up for the future if they do things like that? So I don’t I don’t understand parents like that. We all make mistakes. We’re all not perfect. We don’t perfect every day. I’m definitely not, but I think my kids, they are anywhere between 20 and 29 now turn out pretty good because you set an example for your kids, and you have to do that not only by words, but by actions. And when you listen to something like that, I was shaking my head the entire time, and defense reasons they gave up there. If your kid is not good in sports, your kids should not go to college based on an athletic scholarship. And you heard in so many other kids out there, so there who work hard to get there, so I just don’t get it.

Justin Sisemore  03:26

Yeah, I have a very strong opinion of this too, based on the enabling kind of factor of our society. You know, when I was a kid, I went to this John Newcomb tennis ranch, and I it sounds super cool. It was kind of cool, but I wasn’t that great at tennis. I, however, thought I was really great because I had the Agassiz and the glasses and all that stuff, and I just was out there, like Johnny, cool kid. And the reality was I called my parents crying because I wasn’t in the championship division, because I wasn’t good enough to be in the championship division, and my dad was a pretty strong force. RP, Pops, he was a very strong force. And so he was like, Well, my kid’s good at tennis. He needs to be in the best right? And so my dad called up there and literally had me put into this championship group,

Andrea Jones  04:11

and you got your butt kick.

Justin Sisemore  04:12

Oh, not, not by everybody, by every man, woman, child, older person, all that. And so the good thing about the army or places back then was that, you know, society would kind of weed you out, right? And, you know, nowadays it’s you got keyboard warriors, bullies and all that. So when you’re actually enabling your kids, and you’re forcing them into an environment, like you said Andrea, that they just don’t belong in, they can thrive in so many different areas, but you push them into something that you perceive to be really good, and you you do it by cheating the system. You’re not only enabling and creating bad behavior, you’re actually causing bullying. You’re causing people to have a perception of that individual and that will carry with them for a lifetime, right? I. Mean, I’m confident that those kids are going to have a very tough row to hoe. And I think at the end of the day, if you’re if you’re really trying to be a good parent, think about all the different opportunities that are out there. Don’t just think about one and how you squeeze that square peg into a round hole

Andrea Jones  05:16

and be honest with them. I always laugh. American Idol came first on I was laughing. I was laughing because there’s so many people out there that thought they can sing. If they had no reason being out there. Did your parents ever tell you? Like maybe singing, singing is maybe not your biggest trade. Maybe play an instrument or something, and people embarrass themselves in front of the whole nation trying to sing and they can’t. Why would I put my kid through something like that? I don’t understand.

Justin Sisemore  05:41

Super cool. I’ve got this middle child, Sutton. She’s awesome, and all the kids are awesome, but she’s she’s got this very strong opinion that she knows stuff before she knows it. So like, you take her to golf lesson one time and she’s like, Oh, I know how to play golf, or I know how to play tennis, or I know how to sing. So we kind of have this running joke back and forth where she’ll start singing, and it’s like, and she goes like, right, right up in the throat mode. And, you know, instead of going, Oh, good job, honey, way to go, I’m like, Whoa. What was that? It’s a funny banter. Like, I’m not trying to take the wind out of herself, depress her from being able to sing ever. But you can also be realistic with your kids. And I think this is an example of, like, when you just enable and empower you, you take, you take the wind out of their sales, and that’s a lifetime problem,

Andrea Jones  05:42

yeah, using your own connections, your own stuff, they need to learn to have and to earn it. I mean, yeah.

Mary Maloney  06:33

And I mean, I’m not a parent, but I believe that kids need to be able to be allowed to fail too. You know, like, when I was growing up, I was on a softball league. I wasn’t a very good player, and my team wasn’t very good, so we didn’t get a trophy for losing. Where there’s a lot of events and sports now where kids get a trophy just for participating.

Andrea Jones  06:53

I was like, I was I was in so much trouble. I used to coach kindergarten basketball, and they gave us those little stickers they put it on their shirts, and he’s supposed to give every kid by the end of the season is supposed to have a sticker. But I can’t give somebody in basketball that never makes a basket the offensive player of the day. I can’t. And I talked to some kids afterwards, and said, I talked to the parents like basketball might not be a thing. The cool thing, though I saw, is those kids that played basketball that were fantastic on the field. We moved then in soccer season, and oftentimes it switched. The kids that were not good in basketball were outstanding in soccer. So there was a great lesson for the kids, but like, you can’t tell them, are you a great basketball player? And why? Why you force your kids into something they’re not and don’t like you said, Don’t discourage them and say, You suck. You don’t do that, but you can motivate them and encourage them. And then if they don’t, if they work hard, they might get there, but if not, then maybe pick a different sport for your kid.

Justin Sisemore  07:47

Well, like, to your point, Mary. Like, when I was in elementary school, my best friend Brandon gave me 20 bucks to buy this trophy when I went to the karate championship and I got kicked in the face twice, and the guy got disqualified, so I literally got third place. And that’s an example of, like, my dad was like, No, dude, we’re not gonna go buy this trophy, right? But my best friend was like, No, man, that’s cool. You got this trophy, and you don’t really know how to how to put those things together. Andrea, you know this when we did the awards last year, like we’re trying to think about ways to make everybody feel good, because in business, you’re like, All right, well, somebody did something, and you don’t want to leave people out, but it really stirred the pot, like one person still gets some awards, and the other people know that they don’t just necessarily deserve X, Y and Z, and you’re kind of devaluing the good ones, the good ones. And I think that’s what happens here, yeah,

Andrea Jones  08:37

and then then there’s and there’s no motivation anymore. If everybody gets a trophy. That mentality, why would I work hard? Yeah, there’s, like, the attitude from the kids too. I remember my sons when they played football. The coach was good in making it a family. But if you work hard as a good football player, and then you get playing time based on everybody needs to play, and you lose games because of that, because you want to make sure the senior needs another play, because this is rough season, and then you wonder why you didn’t make it to the playoffs. That’s, in my opinion, not the right way to handle that. I mean, yes, you want to give everybody the chance, but not not make it to the point that people It makes no sense.

Mary Maloney  09:13

Well, I love this next one. Keira Knightley, the actress, she wouldn’t allow her daughter to watch Disney movies like Cinderella, because she didn’t want her daughter to grow up believing that she needed to find a rich man, which, as I was talking earlier, that’s exactly how I was raised back in my era. It’s like, find somebody to support you, you know, instead of taking care of yourself. So I kind of, I kind of, am interested in that philosophy. I think it’s kind of interesting. It’s a good thing. Maybe I never had kids,

Justin Sisemore  09:42

but I am the meat in front of two very awesome women, and I got to be real careful what I say, but I won’t anyway. So there’s a few things that I like to unpack there, because, you know, when you talk about she doesn’t want the rich guy to rescue her. So it I as a lawyer, I break down. The sentence, rich guy rescue her, right? So I’m thinking there about two different sides of my brain, one of which is my traditional views of I think that it’s totally okay to have different roles as husband and wife in a familial setting. And I think that guys gain their confidence from women backing them up in certain decision making and totally cool. Obviously, I have mostly female employees, like, totally cool, and people that I work with directly. Andrea, you Mary, like, I don’t have this, like, org chart or hierarchical structure, because it’s a man or woman thing. I do think we have different roles, okay, and I see

Andrea Jones  10:38

why we just, I mean, we’re both believers. We all believers, and we are wired different, a different way, and men want to be the provider and protector, so why not let them be that? I mean, I think nowadays, many marriages fail because no man wants to come home to another man. So if you act as a man when you come home, it’s just done, then you have to have a woman. I mean, if I always say to my daughters, like, if you want a man to be this way, then guess what? You got to marry a woman, because it’s men wired a certain way. And it’s very unpopular to say we are wired. We’re made different. We’re wired different. God created us in a different way. And there’s a reason,

Justin Sisemore  11:12

yeah, there’s, there’s definitely, there’s definitely some of some truth to the genetic makeup and whatnot. And I don’t want to get off on that tangent, but I will say that when it comes to specifically, like the idea of the way my mom was brought up, for example, we’ve had, I’ve had long talks with her about this, like she was taught not to go to college. My mom went to college in law school. Was a single mom paralegal. My wife is wildly successful, successful business person. So when I talk to females or males that are not the breadwinner, right? And they’re trying to figure out how to go forward. I’m like, Look, I’m a half full dude. You’re not going to get you’re not going to get me in that victim mentality that you can’t do it, right? So I think that the notion that you can’t watch Disney movies, if it’s rooted in this concept of, like, Hey, you see how here she was cleaning houses, and it, you know, she couldn’t get outside of her circumstance, and now it this, this white Prince comes in and saves her, and all that stuff. I can see how you can correlate that. But I could also make another 1000 arguments, like, what about the fact that she was born in a time where, literally, she probably couldn’t leave that circumstance. And so there’s, you know, if you really just kind of, sometimes context and face value, you’re not going to get so caught up in the my kids can never watch a Disney movie because Disney is all bad, or lawyers role isn’t all bad. Yeah, exactly,

Mary Maloney  12:35

because there’s, there’s, it’s, I mean, it had, like you said, Cinderella was made decades ago.

Andrea Jones  12:40

Women couldn’t even have a bank account back then. If you got divorced, back then, I think, as a woman, he didn’t get anything. So there was different times. But it doesn’t have to be looked at, in my opinion, as the prince saves you. What about falling in love and having that feeling and being swooped off your feet? That’s that is the white horse and running into the sunset on Sunrise is a different you can this is not, doesn’t have to be like a, you know, yeah,

Justin Sisemore  13:02

Pretty Woman back in the day was, like, that was still kind of a cool concept, that somebody came from other circumstance and they just, you know, all of a sudden meet somebody that takes them out of their game. And what I think is important equally is to go, maybe she changed him too, correct, right?

Mary Maloney  13:16

Yeah, she did, you know that movie, yeah, that’s a good movie. So yeah. So Kelly Clarkson forbids her children from joining social media until age 18. Her girls are like, 11, 12, 13, or something like that, but they cannot use social media. And she is now divorced from her husband. And of course, her kids are like, well, what if dad lets me? So there’s that. And he currently, according to this, this article, which I’m sure was totally factual, currently, is not allowing them either. But that could change, you know. So what do you guys think about social media?

Justin Sisemore  13:50

Yeah, and I’ve seen like, really comprehensive parenting plans that go through like social media. You gotta remember, you gotta have somebody enforce that so you come into court, you’ve got 1000 different ideas about how we’re supposed to parent, and one gets off and social media is not a small one, by the way. I love so many aspects of saying no social media to your kids because of the society that we live in and what our kids are going to be doing. I probably, like many parents, are torn between you don’t you want them to know how to navigate these waters, but I don’t want my daughter standing around making fish lips all day long and not seeing the world. So you know, there’s also the cyber bullying, the hidden accounts, the different ways the parents do it, whether they have different phones, whether the parents provide the phones. Who pays for it? I mean, I hear this stuff all day long. So what I would say that the biggest challenge we run into is, if you can’t get on a united front about that across the board, try to get to a point where you can reach some common ground. So maybe it’s not 18, maybe it’s 16, maybe it’s. 15. Maybe it’s screen time, you know. And if your child is really having a lot of headache and heartache and emotional issues, it’s oftentimes because the parents are so at odds with each other. And this is just a byproduct like this is actually could be their escape outlet. This might be some people’s only chance to really communicate with people, you know, so I you have to start thinking in my mind about the whole thing that’s going on.

Andrea Jones  15:26

And be a parent. I think the most important thing is be a parent, meaning when they are on social we just had this with the son of a friend who believes everything he sees on social media and it makes those outrageous statements, this is true. And when you are married, you should be like, how old are you? Dude, 13. Like, how do you know anything about marriage? So, and I think if you social media, are not against it, my kids use social media, but it takes a lot as a parent to be involved with the kids and explain, like, whether it’s limited time, whether it’s explaining what’s going on, they don’t understand the concept of AI that you get fed the same information. If you watch a certain thing, you get the same information again. And you feel it’s true because you saw three TikTok videos about the same thing. So I think it’s, it is. It is a part of our society. I agree, and you don’t want them to go blindly, have another friend. The kids are not allowed to do social media either. The oldest one is about to go to college, and when you tell many kids have no idea and no idea how to navigate that, Okay, guess what’s going to happen when she goes to college, she’s not prepared. She’s going to have a phone, she’s going to use social media, and she’s never done it. So there’s, I mean, there’s so many dangers in not ever having any access. So I think it’s a, in my opinion, it’s a balance, and the parents need to be involved.

Justin Sisemore  16:37

And it’s like Emnehem says, of course, they get to know what course is. By the time they hit the fourth grade, they got the discovery. Channel, don’t they? So like, let’s remember for a second that these kids are like their buddies have it. So I think prohibitions without really understanding why you’re using it and what you’re using it for, I mean, and also, if you if you completely prohibit, you know, we now know that these kids now they go to they’re 18, and they get their count, and they post something that will haunt them for the rest of their lives, because they don’t understand it, and so it there’s dangers on both sides. And I don’t pretend to step in Kelly Clarkson’s mind and pretend that she’s all knowing and that the other side is all wrong or maybe right, because he agrees to her with her. I definitely think we all know. And you look at Australia, they ban it until a certain age. And I love that, like, take it out of the parents hands

Andrea Jones  17:28

and in schools.

Justin Sisemore  17:29

I mean, like, if we all decide that they

Andrea Jones  17:31

don’t even pay attention in school anymore. I mean, my kids were in high school, they were not allowed to use the phone in when they were freshmen, and I think when they’re freshmen, it was not allowed. And then afterwards, all of a sudden, was allowed, and they’re on their phone all day long, under the table and not even paying attention to teacher anymore, because they need to see what, what, whatever streaks and stuff. And can’t I need to answer now, because if I don’t answer now, all that stuff is so crazy when you think about it, so that you got to be, got to be careful and teach your kids.

Justin Sisemore  17:32

I was like, look at the Paul brothers. Like, if you would have said you’re not allowed to use social media at all, you never. Like those guys got there, and they built the entire industry. They built

Mary Maloney  18:10

a lot of people don’t know who the Paul brothers are.

Justin Sisemore  18:12

So, yeah. So you know, like, you know, there’s, there’s Jake Paul. Any other Paul brother? You know, I’m not Jake the boxer, dude. Yeah. So they both, they both are fighters, and they’re both using creative content, and they’re doing a great job of it. A lot of the stuff we get, you know, is emulated what they’re already doing. And they know how to, you know, the Joe Rogans of the world. They know exactly how to interview people. And so you’re soaking up years of knowledge and wisdom, you know, based on them actually using it. So I think there’s a lot of positives that come from it, but I see a ton of negatives. And my biggest point and final point on that issue is that, you know, if Mo, you know, 55% of people in our area get a divorce, which is terrible, but that’s the pretty close to the reality. And if you’re in separate households, and you’ve got a divided outlook on this. I love, you know, places like Australia go. Hey, what parent really says I want my kid to be a social media star by their 12 or 13 years old? I don’t know a whole lot. And if you take it out of their hands, hey, look, it’s the law. I’m sorry, man, that’s just until they change it. Like, I don’t know what to tell you. And then, as you the parent, you want to video your kid on a cooking show, y’all can be together and doing it. That, to me, makes a lot of sense. But who am I?

Mary Maloney  19:25

So, I mean, there are parents that do exploit their children on social media, though, they to get money. So that’s that’s another thing, and I would imagine that we probably mostly agree on that Chrissy Teagan and John Legend, those guys, they are very careful about what, oh, yeah, they are very careful about what they post on social media about their kids, because they don’t want to embarrass their kids, and they don’t want their kids, like, years later, to come back and and see that. So they’re very careful about that. Yeah. I mean, I think, yeah.

Justin Sisemore  19:58

Think about. These celebrities, they have publicists that make millions of dollars for a reason. So parent be your kid’s publicist like that. I mean, I don’t know anybody that would disagree with being now hovering specifically when you’ve got a child that is communicating like you know, I get a lot of parents that take their phones away and all that stuff so they can’t communicate. What’s actually going wrong in their lives, in any format, but through some formats, because they’re physically removed from them. So I don’t want to take away kids ability to, you know, voice concerns, and you know, they’re not always going to jump up to a counselor, and they’re not always going to feel empowered and strong to do things. Now, I don’t like the word empowered either, because kids should not be empowered to change the org chart of Jesus, Parents, Husband and wife, and then kids, and they need to be like down here, and you need to keep that org chart. I believe that firmly,  yep.

Mary Maloney  20:56

yep. Um, so the next, the next celebrity on our list is Sophie Turner. She is. She’s been in the Game of Thrones. She was married to Joe Jonas, and she was talking about how, as a busy mom, an actress, and everything that that she suffered from a lot of mom guilt, but she really had to kind of talk herself out of that. She’s She’s busy, she’s a working mom, and I don’t know, Andrea, come on. Yeah. I mean, I Andrea as a working mom, you probably and you’re a single mom,

Andrea Jones  21:29

Mom guilt is mom. Guilt is real. Mom. Guilt is real because if you are, if you are a mom and you have a career, there’s always a balance. So that is a mom guilt. The mom guilt should not turn into your kids run the show. Definitely not. But I think, I think every mom goes to that when you have a job, when you have a career, your wife probably same way. You can’t be there at all times, but, but I always firmly believe too, as a female, you are, you are first a woman, then a wife and then a mother. And if that org chart is also broken, you’re going to have problems in your marriage and and if your kids run the show, you have a problem. So that’s same thing the kids, the kids, you’re not going to give your kids attention 100% every day, because there’s other things going on. And kids learn that too. They have to learn that. My kids, we had a rule at the house, if, if I’m doing something, even when they were little, you have to knock before you come into my room. First of all, the doors, when the doors close, you have to knock. You have to knock us, walk in, if they walked in, go back out, wait and then knock and come in. Just not your room is my room, and when I was doing something, that was the rule. unless d there’s a bone, sticking out or you’re bleeding, Mama is busy, and, yeah, that was my rule, because, but, but, but there has to be, there has to be certain rules. The mom guilt never goes away, but there has to be a balance. And then it’s the quality time with the kids. If I work and I come home, then I can spend quality times and go on dates with my kids and stuff so they can make up. Oftentimes, it’s not the quantities, the quality. And if I focus on my kids and spend time with them, and now they’re all grown, we just had dinner together yesterday, and it’s like the coolest thing to have your grown kids at the table who actually want to spend time with you and who learn from you as a female and your wife, your kids, your daughter, is going to be the same way to see that you can, as a female, be a mother and still be successful. I think that’s a that’s an important message to send to the kids that we talked about earlier, about the princess and you can be successful. You can be married. You can be happy in your marriage. You can be successful, business professional and still be a mom. You’re gonna you’re gonna have to handle the guilt I totally agree with that, but it’s possible. It’s possible.

Justin Sisemore  23:31

Yeah, I mean, I like I said, I don’t project for stay at home moms versus working moms and our family. It works out great for both of us to work. We have a lot of commonality and entrepreneurship, and our kids get to do very cool stuff as a result of us both, you know, earning. And even if it wasn’t a money thing, if it was just a this is what we we need to do. We, we really don’t have much struggle in those Blurred Lines. But my wife constantly, I mean, especially nowadays, there’s like 35 activities a week at the school, and it’s like, I don’t even know how we’re supposed to pay for this school if we do all this stuff.  you

Andrea Jones  24:06

And you can’t be at every event, but you have to be at the events that are important to them. I mean, yeah, that’s that’s one thing that was always a rule for me. I have to be there, and I have to adjust my work schedule to be at a port if they had a track meet. I was there. I was at every football game. I was at every basketball game, and business stuff had to wait, because I’m still a mother, and the business stuff can come afterwards, so that, I think is the most important thing to be there. And I might not be at every event and every little whatever Valentine’s party at your school and things I might not be at at everything, but I’m going to be there for the big events, and I’m not. I never missed I never missed anything.

Justin Sisemore  24:38

Did you feel like there was like social pressure from like, other moms?

Andrea Jones  24:41

Yes,

Justin Sisemore  24:41

they were doing that. Why were you not there? Why weren’t you there?

Andrea Jones  24:43

 Okay, well, again, that’s that happens, but again, it’s, it’s you raise your kids a certain way, like you said, there’s not stay home. Moms, I was stay home mom, too, for a while on purpose, and that was okay, not my thing, but it was okay, and I did that so and it’s cool that you have stay at home. Moms, they can be at those parties and pick up for others, right? And then I saw there’s nothing wrong with either way, but the mom guilt is there, no matter what, it’s there.

Mary Maloney  25:05

Okay, I love Kate Hudson says that I don’t believe in negotiating with children, and that’s something she’s always been very strict about. It’s very difficult to stick to.

Justin Sisemore  25:15

But I like Kate Hudson. I didn’t even know this about, really, any of these people, but I really like, I like this notion of negotiation with children. I do like giving kids choices and opportunity to do things, but when you set parameters, I love like the strong judges, the strong coaches, the people that just like push you, not too hard, but you knew that they cared, they had your best interests at heart. And so I think that setting strong, you know, expectations and setting boundaries is awesome. And then when you set those like, don’t, if they’re if they make sense, if they’re normal, and, you know, don’t let your kid push I think what she’s saying is, don’t. You’re not going to push me off my game, because my game is to get you where you need to be the next level. And then you start making decisions when you’re a little bit older. That’s all right.

Andrea Jones  26:01

And it’s also to protect and it’s also to protect them, right? I mean, if they go to school, yes, you can wear it. You have a choice what you wear. You wear the green dress or the blue dress or red dress. I don’t care which dress you wear, but you’re not gonna wear your Halloween outfit to school today. Yeah, right, that’s that’s just because you throw a fit and you want to wear that whatever in September, because we just bought it, you’re not gonna wear it to school. You gonna wear you have choices, and I agree, make choices, but within parameters, and you’re not going to run the show.

Justin Sisemore  26:24

And we all have the kids that come over to our house too, like some of them slam doors, and some of them have pink hair. They’re they’re coming and wearing just stuff that doesn’t fit them in this because they’ve decided to wake up that day. And I know that when you’re in, at least from my clients, experiments, experiences when they are in, you know, severed households are two separate households. There’s so much pressure, right? Like, I don’t want to do this, because my kid’s not going to like this, and then they’re going to run to daddy or run to mommy. That’s, I think, what happens a lot in my from my lens, right? And I love what Kate Hudson says here, because it’s like, don’t get into the negotiation. I tell people all the time, you want that 15 year old that says that you’re the B and you’re and she’s gonna get these shoes, or else she’s gonna call Dad run over to his house. I’m like, take this kid for a while. That child will most likely navigate back. They’re gonna know if he could beg him, right?

Mary Maloney  26:27

And the other thing that she said is that there are rules and privileges, and you have to earn those privileges. Pretty interesting. Okay, Viola Davis, I love her. She and this quotes from, like, a few years back when her daughter was younger, but she didn’t buy her daughter designer clothes, even though she could afford them, because she said her number one fear is that her daughter is going to become entitled. And, you know, she said her daughter has a home roof over her head. She said she never had a home, and so she shopped at Target, and if the kids were lucky, she’d go to Nordstrom Rack. So

Andrea Jones  27:26

I totally agree with that. Like my kids all the time, they have to, you have to earn the stuff. I mean, designer clothes, that’s out the question for me anyway. But do you have to earn your thing? So if you everything blown up sugar, you’re behind. You never feel like you have to earn anything. And there’s certain things that you have to earn and you’re not just gonna get it. My kids, my older kids, always say, like, Oh, you’re so lenient with the boys and easy on the boys. Well, they’re boys. That’s first of all, as a mama, that’s a little different in different situation now. But yeah, I always had my kids, you just don’t get it, just because you want it. You have to earn it. And certain things don’t need to be there at an early age. You need to get there. You don’t need to have the brand new Mercedes when you turn 16? Yeah, maybe start. Maybe start. Because my kids had it at school when they started driving. The area we live in, there’s so many kids Ferraris and BMWs and brand new for their 16 birthday. I don’t believe in that. Like you can have the Humpty, like we all had that crazy car that was, like the car, the car that that nearly falls apart, and you learn how to drive, and then you can save and then I’m going to help you to buy the car, but then we’re going to go that route, and you don’t need the brand new car when you start driving. I don’t believe in that.

Justin Sisemore  28:48

Yeah, I think, I mean, so when it comes to designer stuff, right? I’m not going to sit here and say that, and nor would you say that your kids never had, like, the coolest pair of Nikes or whatever. So I think designers, you know, can kind of take some different connotations, but also too remember the context of, like, where they’re going. And so like you said, if you’re going to the Met Gala with your mom, you’re not going to, you know, wear certain brands, right? And so I think it’s okay to explain, like, Hey, this is not an everyday thing, but this is a very important event. And if you’ve got means that’s totally okay to do that. I think that right when it comes to cars and using things and getting kids attached to things, and I think that’s what she was saying, is don’t get attached to labels and brands and all this stuff until you earn it and appreciate it. I think that’s really the message that most people want to resonate with. And what I see a lot, and I’d live this in my own life, was like, you know, my dad mom are separated and all that stuff. There’s a lot of like, Hey, let me buy you this. And I would get, like, a new jerboa shirt or whatever, back in the day, and then it was a dirt bike. And then it was like, you know, and I get that a lot, like, from clients buying their affection, yeah. And so I think if you just right. Really have the conversation with your kids like, this is really cool, but why do you I think this is cool and this these people think it’s cool. Why do you think this isn’t cool or not cool? I want you to think about the labeling and think use it as an educational opportunity. You know.

Mary Maloney  30:14

Yeah, and so Madonna and this was like a long time ago when her daughter was younger, but she said that she made sure that her kids kept their rooms tidy, or they would have to pay the consequences for it. So, for example, her daughter would just drop all her clothes on the floor. So she’d go in, go in there, put them in a garbage bag, and she’d have to earn her clothes back and wear the same outfit to school every day.

Justin Sisemore  30:34

Man, I mean, okay,

Mary Maloney  30:36

I want to do that with my husband. I know his mother had to do that.

Andrea Jones  30:41

Yeah, but again. So here’s the thing, if you if you never teach, your mind are grown. If you never teach, and I was at fault too, that’s like the working part and stuff, if you don’t teach them how to do certain things, they’re never going to learn them, because there’s a time period. I mean, they leave the house at the hopefully at the age of 18, if you always have a maid cleaning the house, if you always have somebody picking up after you, how when you go to college, for example, now that you have to go to college, but if you go to college, for example, how in the world do you expect your kid then living with somebody else, keeping their room clean is not an option. So there are certain things my sons, oh, I can’t cook, then learn how to cook. You were never interested. I offered you many times how to make eggs. Now they’re in college, and Mom, I don’t know, learn it. So there’s a there’s a part to that. I totally agree here. They need some basic skills. How do you clean a house? How to wash your clothes, things like that. The kids need to learn it. They need to learn them while they’re still at home. And if, and again, same thing. I don’t know whether that’s a very harsh consequence,

Justin Sisemore  31:36

but no, I just like, I I’m thinking about this now, and I’m like, wait a minute, you do that with their toys? Like, I tell them, like, if your stuff is in the living room on living room, bag, it all up and it’s going straight to charity. And so what’s the difference with clothes? I guess, not much. You know, if you’re thinking about a little girl, like she just had a temper tantrum one day, and she’s like, getting ripped on by her friends because she’s wearing the same outfit, and she doesn’t know

Andrea Jones  31:57

how to balance that. But there’s certain things, certain skills kids need to learn about, that

Justin Sisemore  32:04

for sure.

Andrea Jones  32:04

And if you, if you always carry cleanup after them, they’re never going to learn, yep, how to do it.

Mary Maloney  32:10

Um, I the next one I really love, too. It’s Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade. They don’t play around. It comes to manners, um, unleashing an undisciplined, Ill mannered child on the world that’s not fair. My parents didn’t play around with that, so it’s not really something that’s up for debate.

Andrea Jones  32:25

Totally agree. 100% agree,

Justin Sisemore  32:27

yeah. I mean this, this is the one thing my one. If I can ever get a compliment bigger than this, I’d be surprised, but most people will tell you they’re around my kids, and they’re all very different. I got a Spitfire. I’ve got another one that’s a hybrid. I got the rule follower at the top. So I’m not like, you know, well, you’re just so blessed to have these kids. I’ve seen parents that have all three kids, all three great, or all three bad, and not like, one z2, Zs, or the ones off, one offs. So I think that if you are bad at my house, I will deal with it. If you’re bad in somebody’s house, else’s house, they and they get both, and I don’t know what their treatment is going to be, but you got carte blanche. That’s the way we grew up. And maybe that’s wrong, but I don’t think so. If I trust somebody enough to put my kid with them at their house, and my kid acts up, or my wife and I, our kid acts up, then, by all means, whatever’s the rule in your house, you do it. And I tell them that straight out of the gate, I don’t have to that much. But the yes or no, sir, yes. Ma’am, no, ma’am, it’s business. You’re setting the trend when they get to 16 17, years don’t think that people around your sphere of influence aren’t watching these kids and looking to whether they want to deal with them and work with them in the future. It’s their it’s their audition. So and I’m

Andrea Jones  33:44

the greatest compliment you can get, which is funny sometimes too, like that. No, they’re so well behaved and they’re so organized, and it’s like that does not happen,

Justin Sisemore  33:51

that doesn’t happen in our house,

Andrea Jones  33:53

but they have to have the space at home to be themselves. But when they go someplace, I never had a complaint ever about my kids acting up like a fool somewhere else. They know how to behave and they’re better now, like you said, they’d better know how to behave when I’m not around, you know,

Justin Sisemore  34:06

and listen, guys, I mean, I can affirmatively speak on Andrea’s behalf with her kids, and none of us grew up normal. So don’t think we’re some silver spoon crap that goes through your head. We have all this money and everything’s fixed. We got the same problems, but I will absolutely, as a testament to your character as an independent woman and a mother and all that, say that I’ve met these kids, and they are dialed, I mean, from a responsibility standpoint, from an accomplishment. And they’re all dialed in different ways. You know, one of them is a top of her class in law school when kids are playing football. The other one’s a social media star. So I, like, don’t think that, like, there’s this perfect way to that. We’re up here saying that that is right.

Andrea Jones  34:46

And there’s, I think that as a parent, you have to, like, you said you have three different mine are all different. Even the identical twins are different. They’re different, and you have to cater to their differences. You can’t use the same parenting style. You can’t use the same things. But once, if you raise them right, they know how to. So thank you. Yeah, I think I did a good job. My greatest achievement, I think think

Mary Maloney  35:05

so the final one, I’m going to just read you this quote and see how you guys decipher. And this is from Jennifer Garner. She was the star of Alias, remember that show, and she was in a lot of rom coms and stuff. So she said, be liberal with your yeses and save your nos. And that was something she learned from her mom, which is, anytime you can say yes, say yes, be very liberal with your yeses and save your nos. And the final thing is that closing your mouth is worth a million no’s. I’m not quite sure if I understand what she’s saying. There. Do you Okay?

Justin Sisemore  35:36

I think. And first of all, I love this, and I didn’t really understand the first part of that sentence, be liberal with your yeses, but I’m a half full guy, so I think what she’s trying to say is give your kids a sense of confidence by saying yes as much as you can. You know, we get we came from some of the some of us came from, like, military parents and all that were no, no, no, no, no, you can’t. You can’t, you can’t, you can’t. And the kids, like, they’re just always going to say no, no matter what, right? And then when it’s when it’s closing, your mouth is worth a million no’s. My mom used to say to me things like, you know, you really hurt me. And I was like, you know, that’s where the tears flow. And so I think what she’s saying is like, when I don’t give you a yes, I usually do, and if I, if I’m, if I’m adamant about a No, I don’t have to say it. I can close my mouth and you’ll just know it’s not right for you, because I’ve given you that back, that backdrop. I agree. I agree.

Andrea Jones  36:30

And again, kids are different. When I told Aysha, I’m disappointed, she would do whatever it takes. Tell the boys I’m disappointed. Be disappointed not care. Is it as different, right? So, so, but, but I totally agree with that, as much as you can encourage them in their stuff, yes. And then if it’s a no, it is a no, and then what earlier point, and then there’s no negotiation. If I say it’s no, it’s no, we don’t need to discuss this now for three hours. Why you need? Whatever you want? No, it’s not happening.  Yeah,

Mary Maloney  36:59

Yeah, exactly. Well. Any other thoughts on that are celebrities just like us? Yes, I guess so kind of sounds like it. So on that note, if you live in Texas and you would like to contact the Sisemore Law Firm, that’s Justin’s law firm, you can reach the firm at 817-336-4444, or visit www.lawyerdfw.com thanks so much for listening in and have a great day. You.